From Mystery to Mastery

In last month’s
column we looked at getting clear about what it is that we want to experience,
be or do in order to move our lives forward in some way.

This month I’d like to
look at how specifically that moving forward might happen. Very often, the
biggest hurdle in taking on something unknown or learning something new is just
that – the fact that it’s unfamiliar to us and so a bit daunting. Understanding
how new skills and capabilities develop can shift our perspective and give us
the motivation and focus to pursue our vision.

Begin at the Very Beginning

If you think back
to when last you learnt to do something brand new: driving a car, training for
a new sport, even giving your first presentation at work or at school, you’ll
be aware that there were four main stages you passed through in order to get to
the point where you felt comfortable with what you were doing.

Let’s take the
example of driving a car. Children hop in the car and someone delivers them
magically to wherever they’re going. Mostly, children don’t think about how
that happens – it just does. Not only could you not drive at the time, you
don’t even realise that you couldn’t. This is the stage of unconscious
incompetence.

Know What You Don’t Know

Then you became a
teenager and needed a whole lot more driving around. It began to get
frustrating – you needed something that you were not in control of because you
didn’t yet have the capacity. So you began to learn perhaps firstly by watching
and asking questions, and then by getting behind the wheel yourself.

It seemed almost
impossible that you would ever learn to do this in the way that everyone else
could. They made it look so easy, but there was so much to remember, so much to
watch out for, and so much to anticipate at the same time that it took all of
your concentration and focus.

This stage, called
conscious incompetence, is often the most uncomfortable stage of learning a new
skill and it’s at this point that many people feel disheartened and give up.
It’s so important to know that this stage is crucial, and that this is the time
where the most learning is happening.

And then finally
you can drive! You reach the stage of conscious competence. It still takes a
lot of concentration to change gears at the same time as watching the road, but
you can do it.

Appreciate the Journey

Months or years
later, when you’ve performed the same actions countless times over, you reach a
level of unconscious competence. You can drive with such ease now that you’re
able to change gears, watch the road, listen to the radio, wind down the window
and even conduct a conversation without even thinking about your driving.
You’ve probably even forgotten how difficult it seemed to be initially.

Whatever you’re
learning, or would like to learn, knowing and understanding that each new skill
takes time and patience to develop – and that it should! – can help to ease any
frustration that comes up along the way. Know that it’s temporary, appropriate
and as important a part of your journey as your destination.